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Simply put, many people don’t consider online chatting/sex to be cheating.

But, the problem with this is twofold: Because online chatting/sex is rewarding but not very costly (one can easily control how, when, and where it happens), people are easily drawn to it.

He’d sent things talking about how he was horny and was looking for phone (sex- I assumed),-he’d given his number out on a separate email, he’d tell them he had pictures of him he could send, he’d ask them if they had messengers and webcams, he’d let them know he did, he reminded girls of pictures they were suppose to take... This is over the period of our entire relationship (I could tell by the dates these emails were sent).

He had a roommate and I just figured he used it to take pics of himself for the computer.

It bothered me because I didn’t really know, but I got over it and let it go.

I told him I felt bad that he was looking at these women-but I felt even worse because I was the one who looked it up in his documents on his computer-I felt I invaded his privacy-I didn’t want to be one of those crazy girlfriends/fiancés.

He felt bad and said he’d delete everything, I told him no, I know guys do that kind of stuff, and I didn’t want him to because I invaded his privacy.

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And the interactive nature of online chatting/sex adds a level of uncertainty and unpredictability that can be exhilarating for people who crave such stimulation (see why people cheat).

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